Strange Love
by Lucy Maria Elmer
Summary: Set after the events of Deathly Hallows. Snape lives and has left Hermione with a legacy that they both have to come to terms with.
1. Chapter 1

**Strange Love.**

**I own nothing. The fantabulous JK Rowling does. I'm just playing for a little while.**

Hermione Granger sat in the Hogwarts infirmary, the tiny bundle gurgling sleepily in her arms. He was so perfect. He had ten little fingers and ten little toes, piercing eyes and a shock of black hair that contrasted brilliantly with his pale peaches and cream complexion. He was a beautiful little boy and no matter the circumstances of his birth he was hers...he was actually her son. She could hardly believe that at the tender age of twenty five she was holding her own little boy protectively in her arms but there she was, exhausted after ten hours in labour in the castle where she was now a teacher, with the child she had been left alone to carry and protect in the months leading up to his much anticipated birth.

She couldn't blame the father for leaving, after all he was never someone she pictured to be a family man. Having a relationship with her had been hard enough for him for him to adjust to and after three years he still wasn't quite there with being the devoted partner to a woman who he still somewhat seldomly professed to love. The baby had come as a complete shock to the both of them when she had shown him the positive pregnancy test she had held in her shaking hands, but whereas Hermione had immediately warmed to the idea of the little life she was carrying inside of her, he had found himself even more terrified of commitment than usual and the day after she had told him of their unborn child's existence she woke to find a note on his pillow filled with news of his departure and his deepest apologies.

The pregnancy had gone smoothly, even with the stress and anger she felt due to being abandoned by the man she loved with all of her heart. She had never expected to love him, she had never expected to carry his child, at most she had only expected their union to be brief, passionate and meaningless but over time she had grown to see a side of him that she fell more and more in love with every day, particularly when he softened to her, whispered his deepest feelings into her ears and let her see the man he had spent so long burying deep inside. Now he was gone and she was unsure as to whether the feelings she had for him had only ever really been one sided; but then again if they were, why did he stay with her as long as he did?

Hermione was torn from her thoughts by loud voices in the doorway. Madam Pomfrey could be heard arguing with someone. The voice was familiar and one which shook her to the core. Just seconds later the father of her child stood in front of her, his mouth open in stunned silence, his arms limp at his sides as he looked at her cradling his child in her arms.

"I'm so very sorry Miss Granger. He says he's the boy's father." The medi witch told the young woman breathlessly, with an apologetic expression on her face.

Hermione looked at the little one in her arms, at the beautiful but crooked nose and the black curls that already covered his head. There was no mistaking that her boy was his son. None at all.

"Boy? I have a son?" The man asked as he took a step closer to the bed. He studied the child with his piercing eyes.

Madam Pomfrey picked up her wand as if to hex him but Hermione held up a hand, her son still carefully cradled against her chest.

"No...Poppy please...he is the boy's father. It's all right. But you don't have a son Severus. You lost every right to call yourself his father when you walked out on me while I was carrying him."

Hermione looked at her son, then Snape and then the medi witch. Understanding the look she was being given Madam Pomfrey walked to the doorway, leaving the family in peace.

"I'll be by the door Miss Granger. Call if you need anything." Madam Pomfrey told her as she eyed Snape carefully. She had seen the state Hermione had been in after Severus left her and she wasn't about to let him hurt the young woman again.

Severus stood quietly, looking at the young woman and the infant. Unsure as to whether to stay where he was or walk over to his newborn son he decided to stay where he was, a place he could hurt no-one any more than he already had. He found himself aching to hold her as he stood there, the woman he had so easily left behind, and being apart from his son was almost intolerable to him. Somewhere along his most recent path in life he had fallen in love, and stupidly he had thrown it all away.

"What are you doing here Severus?" Hermione asked him, her voice filled with anger and tiredness as well as the shock of finding herself face to face with the man she thought she had loved and lost. "You left with barely more than a few lines on a piece of parchment and now here you are..."

"I had to see him. I had to see you both." He told her softly, watching as his little boy grabbed his mothers fingers in his tiny hands. Hermione looked at him so tenderly that Severus felt like his heart could melt.

"As you can see we're both fine. You can go now." Hermione told him as she stroked her little boy's cheek. "He doesn't need an absent father Severus. I don't need an absent partner. You made your choice the day you left us."

"I was scared. I needed to be sure that I was father material. I needed to be sure that I could be what you needed." Severus told her honestly thinking back to all the lonely nights he had spent thinking about her and their child and wishing that he was back at Hogwarts experiencing the pregnancy with her; the woman he loved.

"And you proved that day that you aren't. You never could be. You're too selfish" She snapped.

The little boy started to cry and Hermione's face crumpled.

"Let me take him..." Severus pleaded, stepping closer to the bed, his arms ready to cradle his son for the first time.

"There is no way that I'm going to let you hold my son." Hermione told him tearfully as she comforted the little boy. "You only end up hurting the people you hold. You're not partner material and you're most certainly not father material no matter what feelings made you come back here."

Severus knew he deserved that but the words still tore at his heart. It was true. All he did was hurt people and he knew that it was a habit he had to break if he didn't want to end up old and alone with the black heart he had carried for as long as he could remember.

"He's my boy Hermione. I came back for him and I came back for you. I've asked to be Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher again so I can be here with you both...as a family."

"You don't know what family is. How could you? You will never love him. You will never love me. Things will get hard and off you'll run again leaving me to pick up the pieces."

"I will never leave you again you silly girl don't you understand?" He pleaded realising as soon as he'd said those words that he'd made her more angry.

"You left me the day after I told you about him Severus. I loved you. I never had a problem telling you that...but you...you ran away from our child and from me without me ever really knowing how you felt."

"I am a fool for leaving. I don't deny it...but I needed to do it so I could come to terms with becoming a father. Me. Severus Snape a father? don't you realise what a far fetched notion that is?! I sent an OWL every two days to find out how you were and how the child was. How do you think I found out that you were in labour? The minute that Owl came into my hands I knew that I could stay away no longer." He told her, a smile creeping on his face as his little boy yawned softly in his mother's arms. How could he have walked away from this? How could he have been so scared as to try and live his life without his love and his child?

Hermione looked at him, curiosity overcoming the anger that had been brewing inside her.

"You sent OWLs? Who to? People saw how much you hurt me. They saw me pregnant and alone."

"There's only one person here who understands me enough, other than you, to know why I did what I did. How I needed to be sure..."

"Harry...Harry's been..." Hermione whispered, truly stunned at the realisation. Of course Harry had helped him, on the day they lost so many, on the day she almost lost Severus, Harry had seen some of Snapes deepest thoughts. Of course he understood the man enough to want to help him.

"Keeping me updated about my son. Yes. Hermione I am so very sorry that I left you and our boy but I'm back now. I'm asking for a chance."

Hermione tearfully shook her head. She brought her son's small head up to her lips and kissed it tenderly.

"I stand by what I have said Severus. You're not father material. He will be known as a Granger not a Snape. He will be mine and mine alone." Hermione told the man defiantly, her heart jumping in her chest as she saw how broken he looked. "You may live here, but you are no father to our child...and nothing to me. It was all a mistake anyway. A terrible mistake."

"You don't mean that." He said softly, reaching out and stroking a black curl on his little boy's forehead. The love that swelled within him was like nothing he felt before.

"He will never know your hurt. Now if you would leave please. He needs to be fed and I need some rest."

Severus nodded sadly, getting up and walking closer to Hermione and his boy. He knew there was no point in arguing with her and he could see how tired she was. He needed to leave her be, no matter how much it pained him.

"Goodnight little Granger." He whispered leaning down and kissing his sons tiny forehead. "I love you Hermione. I could never find those words before but I do. Know that those words are true." He told her, bending over as if to kiss her on top of the head but thinking better of it and standing up, turning around and walking away.

As if on cue the baby began to cry. Severus turned back, his heart aching, but he knew he needed to keep walking, back to the dungeons, to the dark where he belonged.

Hermione watched him go, her heart beating hard in her chest. She had lied to Severus Snape, told him that he was nothing to her, told him that their son was hers and hers alone, but seeing him she knew that she wanted nothing more than to be a family with that greasy, insufferable dungeon bat, a man who she had truly grown to love. At that moment she decided that she was going to make him prove that he truly wanted it too.


	2. Chapter 2

Hermione woke the next morning to a sight that in the past few months she had only in her dreams expected to behold. Standing by the infirmary window rocking their baby son in his arms was Severus Snape. He was studying the little boy's features intently, taking every little detail in as he sang softly to the child, so caught up in fatherhood that he failed to notice that Hermione was awake.

She lay there and watched the gentleness of the man as he held the tiny boy, a man who scared his students to death and yet had so much tenderness within him that the baby was cooing happily in his arms.

Aware of a presence at her side Hermione turned to see Madam Pomfrey. She looked at the woman questioningly.

"He came by this morning to see how you both were. I explained that the child had kept you awake for much of the night and so when he became unsettled he wanted to comfort him and let you sleep. I hope you don't mind dear. I know you're angry."

"No...It's okay. He should hold his son." Hermione answered, thinking how right it actually looked to see Severus Snape with an infant. Who would have thought that it was possible to think something like that?

Madam Pomfrey nodded, checking Hermione over and then walking back over to her desk when she was satisfied.

Hermione continued to watch the man who stood so contentedly with their son in his arms. His robe sleeves were rolled up so his dark mark was clear for all to see but knowing all that he had done for Harry and Dumbledore and seeing how fatherhood was bringing the man he kept hidden away much closer to the surface, she knew that the tortured man he once was, was slowly slipping further and further away.

A smile came to her lips as she heard him telling the little one about all of the people he was going to meet and invariably their many quirks and annoying habits. Some were more than a little bit exaggerated but it did make for entertaining listening. Her friends were people she could never be without and she hoped one day Severus would come to consider them his friends too. If only for the boy's sake. The boy. She really had to think of a name for him.

Hermione was pulled from her thoughts by voices in the corridor. She immediately recognised the people who they belonged to and a grin spread across her face.

"I took the liberty of arranging for your friends to come and see both you and your son." Severus told her, handing the child back to her a little reluctantly and with sadness on his face. He obviously didn't consider himself part of the group or a person worthy of staying, but then should he after leaving her like he did? "I've also arranged for some breakfast to be delivered to your bed. I will leave you both in peace now." He told her nodding in greeting to the large group of friends now entering the room and sweeping out of there so quickly that Hermione didn't even have an opportunity to thank him.

"He had a face like thunder. He should be careful. If the wind changes it might get stuck like that." Ron Weasley commented as he walked towards Hermione's bed and kissed her on top of the head.

Luna walked to his side and elbowed him in the ribs.

"What? It's true?" Ron replied as he pulled faces at the newborn child.

"He's the father of her baby..." Ginny Weasley started.

"Who left her while she was pregnant?" Ron added. "He doesn't deserve anything nice to be said about him. Coming back as soon as the baby's born. Who does he think he is?"

"A father perhaps?" Harry commented. "Think about it Ron, he's had an awful life, more awful than any of us probably even realise. Think about how hard it must be to allow yourself to break away from all that darkness and let yourself be something you never thought you could be."

"That was deep Harry mate." Ron said in response.

"It was wasn't it?" Harry replied grinning at Ron.

The group smiled at each other and piled unceremoniously onto Hermione's bed.

"Mum and dad wanted to come but thought they'd invite you to the Burrow for a celebratory meal instead. Let you get used to motherhood first." Ginny told her friend warmly.

"That sounds wonderful. I've missed everybody so much. This one needs to meet his extended family. I'm sure he's going to get spoiled rotten."

"Mums already knitted him a sweater." Run told her pulling a face.

"It's a pity there's so many people he won't meet." Harry said softly thinking of his lost friends particularly Albus Dumbledore and his dearly missed godfather Sirius. Tonks would have loved to see Hermione's little boy too Harry thought as he stood there watching the tiny bundle wriggle in his mothers arms.

Hermione nodded, thoughts of lost friends playing on her mind also.

"So what's his name Mione? He looks a lot like Snape doesn't he? Look at that nose." Ron stated, grunting as Luna's elbow found its way to his ribs once again.

"I happen to think his nose is perfect, I don't have a name for him yet and would you please stop insulting Severus, he was my partner for three years if you remember."

"How could we forget." Ron answered and Hermione glared at him.

"I told Severus I was going to give him the last name Granger. That he wasn't to be known as this little ones father." Hermione told the group softly.

"Is that what you want?" Ginny asked. She smiled as Hermione placed the little one in her arms.

"I don't know. I did, when I was so angry...but now..."

The group were interrupted by a group of house elves who entered the infirmary with a breakfast fit for a queen. There were pastries, fruit, milk and juice, cereal, pancakes and syrup.

"From Professor Snape, for all of you." One of the elves told them.

"Blimey." Ron whispered upon seeing all of the food. He, Harry and Luna took the trays off the elves and set them on the tables next to the bed. "Maybe the old bat isn't so bad after all."

"Now I'm definitely not so sure." Hermione whispered as she looked at the boy who was safely ensconced in Ginnys arms. The boy who was the spitting image of his father.


	3. Chapter 3

Hermione Granger walked nervously to the castle dungeons, her arms feeling empty without the presence of the little boy she had left in the care of someone she trusted deeply. She knew that he would want to see his son, but she wanted to see him alone, to try and gauge some of what he was feeling without their little one being present and to try and get some inkling of how he really felt for her, not just as the mother of his son, but as just her alone, the woman he had left behind.

Her heart was beating so fast as she stood outside his door. It used to feel so natural standing there, knowing that the man she loved was the other side, but now it was just complicated and it made her nervous.

Taking a deep breath she knocked on the wooden door. She could hear him moving around inside the room and as his footfalls got closer part of her wanted to just turn and walk away due to all the hurt that he had caused her. Another part just wanted to rush into his arms as she used to so often before.

After what felt like an eternity the door opened and there he stood. Rather than his black cloak and jacket he wore a simple white shirt with his dark trousers, an outfit he only saved for when he was in the dungeons away from prying eyes. A small smile crossed his lips when he saw her there and it was then that she realised that he still made her heart skip a beat.

"Can I come in?" Hermione asked him softly.

He nodded and moved out of the way.

"This was once your home. You needn't ask." He reassured her, watching her as she walked into the room and sat on the sofa, fiddling with the zip of her sweatshirt nervously.

"It almost looks like home again. You got to work quickly." She told him noticing that he had unpacked a great deal of his belongings already.

"I'm not one for mess Hermione. You know that."

"You left a pretty big one behind." She commented and he looked at the floor.

"I know I did and for that I apologise." He reassured her as he took a seat at her side. "Where's the boy?"

Hermione looked at those dark eyes which were so full of worry and she sighed. How could such anger so quickly be melting away.

"He's with his godmother." She replied nervously, deciding to sit on her hands rather than keep fiddling with that blasted zip.

"Please don't tell me it's that insufferable Miss Lovegood." He commented with a small smirk on his face.

Hermione couldn't help but grin.

"She's not insufferable Severus. She's just....unique. But no, she's not his godmother although I would trust her with him implicitly. He's with Minerva. I believe she's showing him to Professor Dumbledore's portrait."

"I see. Did you not think you should consult me also?" He asked and Hermione felt her heart speed up as she wondered at his anger.

"I'm sorry. I..."

"It's alright. I would have chosen Minerva too. Am I to understand Mr Potter is his Godfather?" Severus asked her.

Hermione nodded.

"Yes. And Ron Weasley. As much as you two don't get on he does care for me Severus and..."

"They are fine choices. Especially Potter. I am glad you asked him."

Hermione nodded, feeling a weight lifting off her shoulders.

"I'm also glad you came. I have something I want to show you."

Hermione looked at him quizzically. Severus gingerly offered her his hand. For a moment she just let it hang there and he couldn't help but wonder if he was making such an effort for nothing but then she entwined her small fingers in his own and gave him a shy smile.

"You're always so cold Severus." She commented, stroking his long fingers with her thumb, wondering at the coldness of his skin.

"I haven't had you my dear." He said simply as he carefully led her over to the corner of the room where a large object had been covered over with a deep red velvet blanket.

With his free hand Severus motioned for her to take the blanket off. She gave the hand she was holding in her own a reassuring squeeze and then freed her fingers, using both hands to pull the blanket away. She found herself gasping in awe, for under the blanket there stood an ornate crib with a beautiful wooden mobile hanging above it and an old fashioned teddy bear sat by the pillow ready for their boy.

Hermione felt tears in her eyes.

"Don't you think this is a little presumptuous?" She asked the man who stood quietly beside her, her heart aching for her son and her voice breaking at the thought that had gone into buying something so beautiful and precious.

"I'm aware of your feelings for me Hermione. I know what I have lost, but just in case you were ever to come home, or if not to let me have my son for an evening, I wanted him to have something of his own here. I need to have something of our son here do you understand?"

Hermione nodded and wiped the now falling tears away with her thumbs.

"It's beautiful. It's truly beautiful." She told him sincerely. "When did you get this...?"

"Two months after I left. I was walking, indulging in my usual self loathing when I came across this in a shop. Even then I knew I wanted our boy...and you."

"Then why didn't you come back to me? I needed you..." She confessed tearfully, punching Severus lightly with her hands balled into small fists.

Severus took her into his arms.

"Because I am foolish. I was afraid I would ruin what we would have. I never expected to find myself with a family of my own. I never expected to find a woman who would love me."

"But you did. I was yours from the moment you walked up to me on graduation day and told me you'd never met a witch quite as astounding as me. Coming from you that was the most amazing compliment anyone can receive."

"But we didn't become a couple until you began teaching here." He mused.

"That doesn't mean I wasn't yours." She told him softly, tracing her fingertips down his cheek tenderly.

Severus closed his eyes, moving his head so his cheek nestled in to the caress.

"I was yours that very same night. That beautiful smile that you gave me...the one I woke up to every day when you began teaching here...I was always yours. I am so sorry I never showed you enough. I'm so sorry that I left you alone."

Hermione looked up at the man who had spoken so honestly to her and smiled as his palms cupped her cheeks and his lips met hers. She would never have believed that a man as hard and stern as Severus Snape could kiss so tenderly, but he could, and he had from the very first time that their lips had met those three years ago to that very present moment.

"I came to ask what you really felt for me. Whether what you felt was just about the boy..."

Severus brushed a curl away from her rosy cheeks.

"Everything I have is for that boy, but it's also for you. You are both what keep me alive. You were the angel that saved this old man Hermione." He told her, his eyes on the floor and his cheeks rosy with embarrassment.

Hermione once again ran her fingertips down his cheek.

"I should get back to Minerva. I dare say Professor Dumbledore is cooing away to our little one and driving her mad."

Snape let a small smile cross his lips and nodded. Kissing her softly on the forehead, he then let her go and she walked to the door.

Hermione turned back to face him. He once again looked so lonely and broken that she felt as though her own heart was breaking. He was certainly hers, and she could see that she was certainly his.

"Give the boy a kiss from me." He told her as she opened the door.

Hermione spun back round to face him.

"I had thought of a name actually. We can't keep calling him the boy can we? I thought Lucas...or Elijah..."

Snape stood thoughtfully for a moment. He walked over to the crib and traced his fingers along it.

"Elijah Granger. I like it. It's a noble name. Elijah..."

"Elijah..." Hermione repeated, nodding. "I think it suits him."

Severus nodded in agreement, staring wistfully at the crib, his arms feeling empty without his son.

"Only it's not Elijah Granger. It's Elijah Snape. Elijah Severus Snape. If that's okay?" Hermione asked him.

Severus turned away from the crib and smiled so proudly that Hermione could feel her own heart bursting with pride. Unable to find any more words he stood there, his hand frozen on the crib as Hermione left him to his thoughts.


	4. Chapter 4

Hermione hurried through the castle corridors with the little boy screaming in her arms. He had been unsettled all day but as the evening had come his crying had become almost unrelenting and dread had filled the pit of her stomach when she picked him up out of the crib in her room and felt how hot his skin was. With tears streaming down her face she had rushed out of the room, her feet not taking her to the infirmary but to the dungeons. She needed Severus, she needed him to tell her what to do, and as her sons hot head rested against her cheek she prayed that he was there when both she and their boy needed him.

She hadn't even reached the door to the dungeons when he rushed out of them, Elijah's screaming alerting him that something wasn't right. He took the little boy out of her arms quickly and felt his forehead; the child's cheeks were flushed with heat that Severus could feel even through his robes.

"We need to get him to the infirmary now." He said simply, but she could hear the fear betraying the calm exterior he was trying to exude for her benefit.

Hermione nodded, following as he quickly swept through the castle, his attention on his son and no-one else. He didn't say a word, even when they reached their destination and the baby was rushed out of his arms and into the care of Madam Pomfrey and the immediately summoned medics. Only then did he allow himself to utter the words...

"Why my boy?"

Severus fell to his knees, Hermione squatting beside him with sobs overcoming her as she wrapped her arms around the broken man.

"He's so hot Severus. He hadn't been himself all day but now...our poor baby..." Hermione whispered through the tears.

Severus turned to her, anger suddenly prominent on his features.

"How could you not have brought him to me sooner? Maybe he wouldn't have gotten this bad if you hadn't been so stupid as to leave him be."

"Severus..." She whispered. Her voice was tired and tearful.

"You silly girl." He seethed, pushing her arms off him. "You silly, silly..."

Severus' words were met with a resounding smack as Hermione slapped him across the face.

"How dare you!" She retorted angrily. "He is my son. Do you really think I would have left him if I thought he was this sick...well do you?!" She shouted. "He cries because he misses his father...which I might add is your fault as you are the one that walked away and have made it almost impossible for me to trust you the last few months you've been back. I didn't realise he was this ill. Not until I felt his temperature, you disagreeable, nasty man!"

The infirmary went quiet, Hermione's words echoing off the walls. The only sound that could be heard was the doctors quietly administering a sleeping draught and medication to Elijah, and the quiet beeps of the machines that now surrounded him.

For a moment Severus sat there, anger clouding his face as his cheek burned red. Hermione could feel her heart beating in her chest, her own anger pulsing through her veins and fear of what the man next to her would do filling her also.

He turned to face her again and this time she could see tears in his black eyes.

"I'm sorry. I should never have said...of course you wouldn't have left him." He told her softly, running his fingertips down her cheeks. "Forgive me?" he whispered.

Hermione left her place next to him on the floor and walked over to her son's bed in the infirmary without saying a word. Severus came to her side and put his arm around her, which she immediately shrugged off.

"Please don't." She pleaded. "I don't need your blame Severus. Do you not think I don't blame myself enough? It's not your blame I need. It's you."

"And you have me." He whispered into her hair as he placed his arm around her again. "You know I have a tendency to be foolish."

"And yet I still love you. Funny that." Hermione replied as she rested her head against his chest and listened to his heart beat, watching as their tiny son fought for his life.

It had been an uncomfortable night in the infirmary. Dawn was breaking and as the sun rose on the Castle Hermione slept restlessly with her head on Severus' shoulder as both kept vigil at the bedside of their poorly son. Severus meanwhile couldn't sleep and hadn't slept at all, finding himself completely unable to take his eyes off the little boy who lay on the bed in front of him.

"Is this my fault? Because I wasn't sure that I wanted this at the start?" The tired man whispered as he reached out his hand and stroked the back of his sleeping son's tiny fist. "I couldn't bear it if anything happened to you Eli. You need to fight this...for me...and for your mother. She loves you so much boy. We both do."

Severus was interrupted by footfalls. He turned as carefully as he could so as not to wake Hermione to see Minvera McGonagall enter the infirmary. She walked quietly to Elijah's bedside and stood studying the little boy.

"I'm so sorry Severus. If there's anything I can do..." She told the man softly.

Severus nodded, still unable to take his eyes off his son.

"If you could notify Hermione's friends, the Weasleys, Mr Potter, Miss Lovegood...Hagrid of course will want to see him...let them know the boy has a bad chest and ear infection and is very poorly. She needs them here. I think it would make her feel better."

Minerva gave Severus a small smile.

"Of course. How are you both doing?" She then asked.

Severus sat quietly for a moment, amazed at the concern of the old witch. They hadn't seen eye to eye for much of his time at Hogwarts but since the final battle both had come to find a mutual respect. To hear such kind words from someone he once upon a time wouldn't have spared a second thought for, made him realise just how much Hermione and Dumbledore had changed his life's path.

"She blames herself, as do I. It's hard seeing someone you love suffer." Severus commented quietly.

"You're not just talking about the boy." Minverva said softly as she sat carefully on Eli's bed.

Severus looked at Hermione and kissed the top of her head tenderly, not caring that someone else would see such an uncharacteristic show of affection. He then shook his head.

"She's good for you Severus as is fatherhood. Your leaving...was poorly thought out. I do hope this all works out for you both."

"As do I Minerva. As do I." Severus told her honestly, still stroking his sons little hand. "Why are you walking the castle floors at dawn?" He then asked quietly.

"My family needs me." She told him simply. "Do you mind if an old witch sits with you and your family for a little while?"

Severus shook his head.

"Like you said. Your family needs you. Of course you may sit." He replied; nodding in gratitude as Minerva took the little boys other hand in her own.


	5. Chapter 5

Three hours later Hermione awoke from a dreamless sleep in time to see a familiar face standing in the doorway. She turned to Severus who sat stiffly beside her. He gave her a small smile and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.

"I thought it important that you have your friends here." He told her softly as she smiled at the friend who was now making her way over to Eli's bed.

"When...?" She asked him, once again astounded by his thoughtfulness.

"We had a visitor at dawn who sat with us for a few hours. I asked if she would notify your friends and she was very happy to oblige. She's a good woman Minerva." Snape commented, as he got up from his chair, kissed the top of Hermione's head and walked over to the window, stretching his back and legs.

"I know you would probably rather see Harry or Ron and they will be here...but for now I hope that I'll do. I know they are much better with words than I am but..."

Hermione ran over to Luna and took the young woman in her arms.

"No Luna...I'm glad you're here. It's perfect that you're here." Hermione reassured tearfully, as Luna took a seat by the little boy. The last thing she needed right now was doom, gloom and seriousness and Luna was the least gloomy person that she knew.

"The poor little lamb." Luna said softly, looking at the boys rosy cheeks. " He really is very much his father's son isn't he?" Luna then commented, stroking a stray black curl off Eli's face. "It's how I know he'll be all right. With a mother as strong as you and a father as strong as professor Snape, I'm sure he could even take on the nargles and win one day."

Hermione nodded, brushing tears off her cheeks which were still rosy with sleep.

"There, there, don't cry." Luna soothed, handing Hermione a tissue. "How about a cup of tea? A cup of tea solves almost anything."

Hermione nodded.

Luna leaned over and kissed Elijah gently on the forehead, the kind of tender act that Hermione had always imagined Luna capable of but had never seen her display before.

"Harry Potters your godfather young man. He beat Voldemort. You show him how well you can fight this." She whispered to the little boys sleeping form before walking over to Severus.

"You always thought you used to scare me Professor, but you never did because I knew that somewhere in you was the man who would end up surprising us all. He will survive because Dumbledore knows you would never be given a son if it was part of some plan for him to be taken away from you. He's going to do great things your boy...as a Ravenclaw. Tea?"

Snape nodded, open mouthed at the pure honesty and insight that came out of such a whimsical mouth. He and Hermione watched as the young witch skipped out of the infirmary, on her way to the kitchens.

"Our boy, a Ravenclaw?" He stated open mouthed.

Hermione looked at the shocked Professor and couldn't help but grin. She then stared at the doorway from which Luna just skipped.

"There are worse things." Hermione commented as she thought of her dear friend.

"Yes. I'm beginning to believe that you are right." Severus agreed holding Hermione close as each gave their son a kiss.

By midday all of Hermione's friends had arrived to lend their support during Elijah's illness and by midnight all were asleep in various parts of the castle, except Luna who had taken to spending as much time as she could by Elijah's side offering silent support to him and his parents. She instead was fast asleep in a chair on the opposite side of his bed, wrapped in a blanket that Ron had placed over her before he had left in search of rest after each and every one of them had barely moved a muscle for the day as they willed the little boy to fight. Severus entered the infirmary with two mugs in his hand, having gone to get hot chocolate from the kitchen for he and Hermione to drink. He handed her the mug and kissed her on the forehead.

"I asked for extra marshmallows." He told her silkily and she smiled in thanks.

"How is he?" Severus asked as he studied their son for any change.

"He's the same. No better, no worse. I know the sleeping draught is helping his body to fight and providing him with some comfort, but I hate not seeing those beautiful eyes open."

Severus nodded in agreement.

Luna shifted in her chair and Severus sighed.

"She must be exhausted. Minerva told me that she'd been working all of last night. She hadn't been to bed for over two days by the time she arrived here this morning."

"She must be. She doesn't want to leave Eli though. Even though he's fast asleep she's grown attached to him. I never would have thought that loony Luna would be maternal Severus. I guess there's a lot that you don't know about a person until you look deeper."

"Maybe that's the reason I'm yours. You're the only person that ever dared look deeper." He replied; placing his mug on the floor and getting out of the chair he had only just sat down on. He walked over to the sleeping Luna and as carefully as he could picked her up in his arms.

"Severus what...?" Hermione whispered, watching as he carefully placed the sleeping woman down on the bed next to Eli's and tucked the covers around her as a father would a child.

"She deserves some proper rest." He answered, sitting back down next to Hermione and taking a sip of his hot chocolate.

"You never cease to amaze me." Hermione told him. She put her free hand on top of his own and gave it a squeeze.

"They're our friends are they not?"

Hermione smiled tearfully. It was the first time that Severus had ever acknowledged her friends as friends of his own, but with the support they had given both Hermione and himself during Elijah's illness he would never consider them as anything less again. It was also the first time he had ever really spoken of them together as a unit. They were a pair, exactly how they were meant to be.

"They are." Hermione replied, placing her cup on the floor and running her hands through his hair. She kissed him tenderly on the lips. "I love you." She added quietly.

Severus looked deeply into the chocolate brown eyes.

"And I you." He replied sincerely, reciprocating with another kiss.


	6. Chapter 6

As dawn fell over the castle the next morning Hermione found herself awake while Severus slept. Elijah had a peaceful night for which she was grateful but it still didn't stop the worry that both she and Severus felt for their son. He was so shattered that the boy was sick that part of her couldn't help but think that if anything were to happen to Elijah, she would lose Severus too. He cared so much about the boy that if he were to die...What if he was all that was holding them together?

Hermione carefully got out of her chair so as not to wake Severus or the still sleeping Luna and walked over to Elis bedside, stroking her little boy's cheeks with her shaking fingertips.

"Please don't leave us Eli. You're mummy's little man...You're the apple of your daddy's eye. If you were to leave...I don't think I'd have you or your daddy. I couldn't bear that. You're my boys." Hermione whispered as she kissed her sons forehead.

"You wouldn't lose Severus dear." A gentle voice told her.

Hermione turned around to see Minerva McGonagall entering the infirmary.

"I've lost him before Minerva. He loves Elijah so much. If, God forbid, something happened to our son..."

"Nothing will happen to the boy. There's too much love in this room...in this castle...for something to happen to someone so precious." The old witch reassured her, walking over to the child's bed and stroking his little fingers with her thumb.

"What if Elijah's the only reason he wants me?" Hermione asked quietly, unable to look McGonagall in the eye.

"My dear he wants you because he loves you dearly. It's clear for anyone to see."

"Then why can't I? Why when he says things do I sometimes doubt him?"

Minerva walked over to the young witch and took the now crying girl in her arms.

"Because he left. He was foolish...but he knows that now. You're his family, both you and little Elijah. He loves you both with equal measure. The old Severus...would never have done the things he has done since he came back to us. You've healed years of hurt." Minerva told the sobbing young woman.

"A hurt that I would have let destroy me had it not been for you."

Hermione turned to see Severus now standing behind her. Minerva nodded to the man, letting him comfort the woman he loved as she went and sat at Elis bedside and prayed for his recovery as she had at dawn the day previously.

"My loves not just for him. It's for you both. If he were to leave us...I still could never leave you." He reassured. He ran his fingers through her hair and kissed her tenderly. Hermione held on to him tightly.

"Good because I could never leave you either." She replied, standing on her tip toes and kissing him gently on the lips.

After a day of chatting about old times, remembering lost friends and musing about the future, Hermione, Severus and Luna once again found themselves alone in the infirmary as the others retired to their rooms. Luna had busied herself knitting at the window which looked out on the Hogwarts grounds, leaving Hermione and Severus to watch as the Doctors examined their baby boy.

"Well?" Severus asked, a little more coldly than he would have liked as the Doctors walked over to him and Hermione.

Hermione gave the hand she was holding a reassuring squeeze.

"I'm happy to say that Elijah seems to be showing signs of improvement. His fever's not as high as it was earlier today and his ears are looking a lot better. His chest is also a lot clearer. We will leave him under the influence of the sleeping draught tonight and allow his body more opportunity to fight, and will let oxygen continue to assist him breathing. Tomorrow if all is well we will see how he does without the sedative." The Doctor told them, giving Poppy some instructions before leaving to tend to some critical patients who had been brought in after a Quidditch mishap.

Hermione breathed a sigh of relief and turned to Severus who had a tear running down his cheek. She brushed it away, standing on her tip toes and kissing the spot where it had left a trail.

"He's going to be okay. Our boy is going to be okay." Severus told her grabbing her in his arms and spinning her around happily.

"He's all right?" Luna asked, suddenly standing beside them with a half complete rainbow coloured unidentifiable garment in her arms.

"He will be." Hermione told her friend happily, pulling her into a hug. "They're going to stop giving him the sleeping draught in the morning if he's strong enough."

"That's brilliant. Truly brilliant. I think I'll find the others and have some pudding."

Hermione couldn't help but smile as the blond witch skipped away.

"He has his mother's strength. A quality I always admired." Severus told her, sitting tiredly back down.

"You had a funny way of showing it." Hermione smiled.

Severus yawned and Hermione's heart ached for the man she loved.

"Why don't you go to the dungeon and get some proper sleep in your own bed? I promise I'll send for you if there's any change. You've been so strong for everybody...I know you're exhausted."

"I don't want to leave him." Severus told her, reaching out for his little boys hand and stroking it gently.

"I know you don't, but we've sat here solidly for two days...please get some rest...for me?" Hermione pleaded as she ran her fingers through his hair. "He'll be awake tomorrow. He'll need us both bright eyed and bushy tailed, or haired, in my case." She added with a smile as she ran her fingers through the now tangled curls.

"Then will you join me?" He asked; wanting nothing more than to rest for a few hours with her curled up into his arms.

Hermione shook her head.

"Not because I don't want to...or because I don't love you, because I do. I just think that you need the rest more than me and I don't want to leave him completely alone."

Severus nodded, a little hurt but understanding her decision. He truly hoped she wasn't asking him to take his leave for any other reason than to ensure that he got some proper rest.

"Maybe just a few hours. If anything changes..."

Hermione nodded, smiling as his lips found her forehead, her nose and then her lips.

"I love you." He said sincerely, looking into her eyes without faltering, and propping her chin up with his fingertips so her gaze met his.

"I love you too." She replied, watching as he swept tiredly out of the infirmary, the room already feeling empty without him at her side.


	7. Chapter 7

Severus had been sleeping for four hours. At first he had thought that he would never drift off, worry filling his mind about his son and Hermione and threatening to ruin any chance of sleep, but exhaustion had overcome his weary body and he had drifted off into a restful slumber at just seven o clock in the evening. He would not have woken at all if he hadn't felt the bed move under the weight of another person and someone crawling into his arms.

"Hi." Came a tired and little voice from beside him.

Severus opened his eyes to see Hermione lying next to him, snuggled up with her back against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her tightly and rested his hands on the stomach which had so recently housed their now three month old son before worry filled him as to why she was here.

"Elijah..."

"Luna and Ron are with him. They wanted to sit with him so I could be here with you for a little while...just us."

Severus kissed the top of her head.

"Believe it or not it was even Ron's' idea. I must have looked pretty miserable." Hermione mused.

"Well then thank you Mr Weasley." Severus commented, breathing in the scent of Hermione's hair. "I've missed this. You have no idea how much." He whispered into the curls as he ran his hands over her curves.

Hermione turned so that they were facing each other and placed her hands on his hips.

"After three years of lying in bed with you by my side and then suddenly being left with no-one...I do have every idea." Hermione assured him as the shuffled up the bed and kissed Severus on the lips just before they both fell into a blissful and comfortable sleep.

Having meant to sleep just for a few hours Severus Snape was shocked to wake up and find that another seven hours had passed since he and Hermione had fallen asleep entwined in each other's arms. He didn't want to wake her. She looked so peaceful lying there but he knew that as it was she would never forgive herself for missing so much time she could have spent at her son's bedside. He could barely forgive himself.

He gently trailed kisses over her forehead, brown eyes fluttering open as his soft lips touched her skin.

"What time is it?" Hermione asked sleepily, rubbing her eyes.

"It's six in the morning. We've been asleep all night." He told her calmly, hoping the calming tone of his voice would soothe her enough so that she didn't worry about the time she had spent asleep.

"Six? We've been here hours. We need to get to the infirmary." Hermione stated as she started rushing around the dungeons. "What if he's gotten worse and we weren't there?"

Severus walked up to her and put his hands on her shoulders, finally getting her to stand still.

"Calm down. If he had gotten any worse Ron or Luna would have come to find us. He's been in safe hands with his godparents..."

"Godparents...?" Hermione questioned remembering their conversation back when Elijah had been born about Ron being his godfather and Luna most certainly not being his godmother.

"I thought we'd ask Miss Lovegood if she would like to join Minerva as Godmother. What do you think?" Severus asked.

Hermione smiled thinking of her friend's utter devotion since Elijah had been in the infirmary.

"I think it's perfect." She agreed then sighing a little. "I wish he was home Severus. I can't bear seeing him that way anymore. I just want to hold him. I want our little boy back."

Severus rubbed her back in circular motions. He really did have a very gentle touch.

"As do I." Severus reassured her. "I also want you here. Both of you. Back in the place that was once our home together." He commented, watching her expression carefully.

She gave nothing away.

"Let's go and see Eli shall we." She replied clearing her throat uncomfortably, leaving Severus once again confused and broken, a state he no longer revelled in.

The pair entered the Infirmary and walked straight to their son's bedside where they were greeted by the sight they had been waiting for, for the previous couple of days. Lying there, gurgling happily yet sleepily was their drowsy little boy. Ron was asleep in the chair on one side of him with his mouth wide open and Luna was standing with her fingers clasped in the little boys grip chattering away to him about all kinds of magical creatures. Hermione sighed in relief.

"We decided Elijah was indeed strong enough to forgo the sleeping draught. We will carry on giving him medication to fight his infection but his temperature has decreased even more since yesterday. All signs are very good." A doctor told the pair as they stood by his bedside watching him in awe.

Severus nodded in thanks, a smile on his face as his son cooed happily as if to let them all know that he was on the mend.

"Can I hold him?" Hermione asked softly, stroking her sons face with her fingertips.

The Doctor nodded.

"I don't see why not. He is still ill and very drowsy but a cuddle from mummy would be much appreciated I'm sure. I'll be back to check on him in a little while. Poppy's here if you need anything."

Hermione nodded, smiling at the nurse who had been keeping watch over her little boy. She grinned at Luna who took her fingers out of Elijah's grip so that Hermione could pick the little boy up and hold him in her arms.

"Hey there little man, hi." She whispered, kissing her sons forehead and nose. "Are you feeling better? Mummy's so glad. She's missed you so much."

Hermione rocked him carefully in her arms. She'd known she'd missed holding her son but she hadn't known how much until he was in her arms again. For the first time in a long time she felt whole again, with him there and Severus.

She turned to look at the man who stood at her side and noticed how sad he looked. She knew she hadn't been very forthcoming that morning when he had asked for her and Elijah to come home, but all she could think of was how quickly everything was coming together after being such a mess for so long. She was terrified it was all going to disappear again and so scared she'd lose him again too.

"You're a handsome little boy aren't you? You look just like your daddy. I think you're going to be daddy's little boy, don't you Eli?"

"Most definitely. " Luna agreed with a smile. "You can just tell."

Severus felt a small smile appear on his lips, his heart bursting when he saw the woman he loved holding the little boy they created again, referring to him in front of her friends as the father. It seemed to cement things more somehow.

Elijah gurgled and Hermione kissed him again.

"I think he wants to see his daddy." She told Severus softly, holding out Eli to him carefully.

Severus took his son in his arms, his eyes lighting up as he looked at the black haired little boy. He too kissed his son tenderly on the forehead, the baby gurgling and cooing in his father's arms and trying to grab any strand of hair that his little fingers could reach.

"I don't think I've ever had anything more precious given to me by someone than this boy you have given me." Severus told Hermione honestly. He walked over to her, squatted down so that he was holding their baby boy at her chest, and kissed her full on the mouth for everybody to see. "You are both the most wonderful things to have happened to this old man. You are my family; and life without either of you is torture."

Hermione smiled and stroked his cheek, both of them gazing at their son.

"I'm so scared I'm going to lose all of this. I was so sure that if Eli died..."

Elijah grabbed hold of Hermione's fingers and made a fist around them, bringing her fingers to his mouth.

"You will never lose me. Never again I promise you that, and our boy is fine...look at him..."

"How can I do anything but? The pregnancy was such a shock but look at what we got Severus; our son, our beautiful son. He's perfect." Hermione told him, smiling contentedly as Severus put one arm around her and in the other held the little boy that was now gurgling and chattering away, his drowsy eyes the only sign he had been ill.

"As are you and I will forever be thankful for you and for our boy. I'm sorry for all the hurt I've caused both you and him. I do not want him to have to miss me any longer and if you too miss me...I do not want that either." Severus told her, kissing the top of her hair. His gaze once again fell on to his little boy.

"Of course I miss you but let's leave this discussion for another time okay? Let's just concentrate on our son." Hermione said a little bit more sternly than she wanted to. She so wanted to be with Severus again as a family, she missed their home in the dungeons and now they had Eli it would make everything complete, but still her head was too muddled to truly consider being back there for good. She was just so relieved about Elijah that she could think of nothing else.

Severus nodded in understanding, his eyes falling to Hermione and then to their now heavy eye lidded little boy.

"Sleep now little man." Hermione whispered, kissing one of the black curls he'd inherited off his father, before watching Severus carefully lay the tired boy back on to his bed, with a single tear falling down his pale cheek.


	8. Chapter 8

As the days went by Elijah got stronger and stronger and stayed awake for longer periods of time. There were constant visitors to the infirmary, from Hagrid and Minerva, to Nearly Headless Nick and Professor Flitwick to the Weasley's and when there weren't various family friends popping in there were vigils by Harry, Ron, Luna and Ginny who had all refused to leave until Elijah was back to his bubbly and well self.

Hermione was so grateful for her friends for their concern and their devotion to both she and her family but the moments she really cherished were the moments when Luna was asleep at Elijah's side and the others eating or in bed somewhere else in the castle. When it was just her, Severus and Elijah as a family there alone.

So many evenings were spent with her holding her little boy while Severus softly sang to him or told him tales of the past, with her nursing him until he was full and drowsy while Severus dozed, or watching as Severus gazed intently at the baby he had helped create, full of awe over the little life, his eyes for their son and for her and no-one else. She had never felt as close to him as she now felt and Severus felt the same. For once in his life he truly belonged and it was in a place he never thought that he would find himself, in a family. It was the most spectacular thing that he had ever felt in his life.

Severus awoke one morning; five days after Elijah had been allowed to wake from his induced slumber to find the bed at the side of which he sat empty and Hermione's chair empty at his side. Panic gripped him. Had something happened to his son? Had she taken the little boy and left him? Was he to be alone again after coming back for her and their boy and finally finding his place in their family? His heart was beating fast, already feeling empty and broken but as he looked around him he saw her standing at the window, sunshine beating in and on to her and their son through a small crack in the partially closed curtain. Hermione was feeding the little boy, humming happily to him as he suckled and Severus felt a small blush appear on his cheeks as he watched something he still considered to be so private.

Hermione felt his eyes on her and turned to face him. She too blushed a little but walked over to her chair and sat back down beside him, continuing to feed their hungry son.

Severus looked at the floor, not knowing where to put his eyes and he heard her giggle softly.

"You've seen it all before Severus. This one didn't come out of thin air." She teased; affection clear in her voice.

"I know. I just...things are difficult and...." He stuttered.

"You don't know where you stand. I know, and I'm sorry. I've just needed to concentrate on Elijah and to think about things. I can't rush a decision when we have a child to think about."

"Our child Hermione. My boy." Severus told her, still unable to look at her.

"I know." Hermione told him, propping up his chin so that his gaze was focused on hers, shyly or not. "The Doctors have said that Elijah can go home later today. Luna, Ron, Ginny and Harry are leaving too which gives us time to work on being a family, but Elijah's home, for now, is going to be with me and me alone."

Severus looked at the floor again, fighting against the fingers which were futilely trying to keep his gaze off the floor.

"It's not that I don't love you because I do, I really, really do and Elijah adores you..."

"He hasn't had a chance to adore me."

Severus got out of his chair.

"In the three months after he was born you kept me from my boy and I understand why...I walked away from fatherhood and from you and you have every right to be angry. You couldn't trust me because of that and I truly do understand why that is. I wouldn't trust me either. But you say he misses me...you made him miss me Hermione. No-one else; and now you're taking him away again when I think I have proven how much I love both you and our son."

"Severus..."

"Bid our friend's farewell from me. Tell them I will see them at the Christening and thank them on my behalf for being here for you and Elijah. I will be in the dungeons."

And with that Severus angrily swept out of the infirmary, leaving Hermione's confused friends gaping open mouthed in the doorway.

Hermione turned away from them blushing with both sadness and embarrassment as they entered while she was feeding her son.

Ron and Harry blushed also, seeing a lot more of their friend than they ever had before. Clearing their throats they went and sat by the window where they could see Quidditch training taking place.

"Twenty five years old and they still get embarrassed by a woman breastfeeding her child." Ginny mused as she took Snape's seat. "Are you okay?" Ginny then asked as her friend let out a sob.

"I'm fine...my sons almost better...how could I not be..?" Hermione asked, refusing to turn and face Ginny while tears fell from her watery eyes.

"Well Snape seemed pretty angry when he pretty much barrelled us out of his way." Ginny mused.

"Yes well. He's an insufferable man." Hermione said stubbornly as she looked down at her little boy. His sparkling brown eyes were open and gazing intently at his mother. He reminded her so much of Severus.

"Well yes but you know...he has been rather different lately. He loves Elijah and he clearly adores you."

"I know he does." Hermione sighed. "I just can't bring myself to stop thinking that I'm going to get hurt again...that somehow he'll hurt Eli and me and we'll be left to deal with the mess he leaves behind again. He's a destructive person."

"Who's found something to live for." Ginny added quickly.

Luna, who had just woken nodded in agreement.

"He'd fight the nargles for you both that's certainly true. He's very brave when it comes to his family."

Ginny nodded, though with furrowed brows as she thought about the nargles.

"Maybe it's time for you to be brave too." She then told Hermione, motioning for Luna to follow as they joined the boys watching the Quidditch at the window, leaving Hermione to feed her son in peace.


	9. Chapter 9

Severus Snape sat sullenly in the Hogwarts dungeons, his head in his hands and an untouched glass of firewhiskey at his feet. He had so wanted some resolution in regards to his relationship with Hermione. He had come back for her and Elijah, had tried to show with every action, every touch and kiss just how much they both meant to him and it killed him to know that she was still unsure of his intentions and his feelings towards her if not their boy. He could understand that she didn't want to get hurt again and that she didn't want Elijah to get used to having his father around just to be left behind as he had been when still in the womb but Severus had wanted her to see through his actions that he could never leave her again, he had fallen too hard for the woman he could now never bear to be apart from. All that he wanted to hear was that she was truly his and that she and Eli were coming home and all he kept hearing was that right now she couldn't think about him. It hurt his heart more than he ever thought possible.

Prior to Eli's birth when times got hard firewhiskey had been Severus' only ally. He had often sat drowning his sorrows until he was so numb that he fell into a dreamless sleep where he could forget about the things which pained him and which had made his heart so black and cold. When had had gotten back to the dungeons that morning, his head a mess and his heart aching he had once again poured himself a glass, savouring the scent, ready to drink to make himself forget...but then he had thought of her and of Elijah and suddenly it smelt like the foulest thing he could ever let past his lips.

He'd sat the glass on the floor, his eyes finding the crib in which his son had never slept. He had no idea how long he had sat there staring at it, but daylight had turned to dusk and still he hadn't moved. He had been so lost in his own thoughts that the day had passed him by without him even realising it. How could he have left her? How could he have left her to carry their unborn child and not have allowed himself to be a part of any of it?

'Because you're screwed up. You're dark and bitter and incapable of loving anything. Any person, any object, anything which would mean that you're alive.'

His father's voice echoed in his head and Severus squeezed his eyes shut as hard as he could and placed his hands over his ears. There was no way that he was going to end up like that spiteful man. Maybe that had been what he was so afraid of, that he'd hurt Elijah as much as his father had hurt him but deep down even after so many years of torment and depression he knew he could never be his father because when his son had been lying in the Infirmary fighting for his life all he wanted was to hold him and his boy's mother and let them know that he'd take care of them no matter what. The dark man he was had gone because of them and the glass of untouched firewhiskey on the floor was testament to that.

Upon hearing a knocking sound Severus frowned. Where was that coming from? Taking his hands from his ears he realised that someone was at the door.

Muttering to himself he eased himself off the chair on which he was sitting and groaned as pain shot through his back. He rubbed the tender spot gently, cursing himself for his habit of finding himself so deep in thought that quite often his muscles failed to forgive him for it later.

The person on the other side of the door knocked again impatiently and Severus sighed. If this was some student with a silly question for him it would be a month's worth of detention, not to mention a few evenings with Filch.

Sighing dramatically Snape opened the door and was ready to confront the visitor with a sarcastic response when he saw Hermione there holding their son.

"Just hold him for a second would you?" She asked Severus, thrusting the happily cooing baby into his father's arms as she grabbed hold of the suitcase at her side and heaved it into the dungeon.

"What in God's name do you think you're doing woman?" Severus asked her as she went out of the door and heaved in yet another heavy trunk.

"There's plenty more where that came from but quite frankly they are too heavy for me to even attempt to move so I'm going to leave those for you if you don't mind....seeing as you're so desperate to have us back home and all." Hermione told the man who was now standing open mouthed and staring at her.

She smiled.

"Are you going to say welcome home? Or would you like to collect the rest of our things first? It's entirely..."

Hermione was cut off by Severus' lips meeting hers and kissing her so passionately that her lips tingled under his. Elijah gurgled happily in his fathers embrace and Hermione grinned as Severus continued to kiss her.

"How? What made you change your mind?" He asked her as he breathlessly pulled away from her lips. He kissed his sons little nose; so glad to have Elijah in his arms and away from the Infirmary.

"A friend pointed out that maybe I needed to be a little braver, like this little mans daddy has been." She admitted as she played with Elijah's tiny fingers.

Severus smiled.

"I shall have to thank that friend. You're really moving back home? With our boy?" He then asked hesitantly, as if afraid she would change her mind.

"I'm really moving back home. You were right, I was the reason that he missed you and I was the reason that I missed you too. You came back for us and I didn't give you enough credit for that considering your..."

"Past personality?" Severus offered, walking over to the ornate crib and placing his little boy inside. The child gurgled happily as his father turned on the mobile for him.

"That's one way to put it. I've given you such a hard time. I'm so sorry." Hermione said tearfully.

Severus pulled her into his arms.

"It's nothing compared to what I have done to you. What I would give to go back and go through the pregnancy with you. I would quite like to see how the unflappable Hermione Granger dealt with morning sickness and gaining baby weight."

"I did it with grace and dignity and more than a few temper tantrums." Hermione admitted as she briefly left Severus' embrace to go to one of the bags. She pulled out a black and white framed photo that had been on the top of her belongings and handed it to him, looking at the ground a little shyly as he gazed at it. It was a photo of her sat on a blanket on the Hogwarts grounds, her stomach round and her face happy, but still he could see a sadness in her eyes that he knew was because of him. She was surrounded by gifts and her friends could be seen standing together at one side of her, some waving and some chatting amongst themselves. Pregnancy suited her. She was glowing, and so very beautiful.

"Why do you look at the floor? Look at you. You're beautiful. You're carrying our boy..." Severus asked, in awe of such majesty.

"I was missing you. I was missing you terribly. That was taken at my baby shower three days before Eli was born. I had no idea then that you would come back."

Severus took her into his arms again and held on to her tightly. He kissed the top of her head.

"I am so sorry my love."

"But you did come back. That's all that matters. That and Eli's healthy now. You're my boys and I love you. I want you to be together and to be father and son and I want us to be together too. It's why I came home. You deserve to be the father you want to be and the partner that I love. Why deprive all of us of our family when you've been so brave?"

Severus and Hermione walked over to their son who was happily lying in his crib, watching the mobile that was turning above him, his little eyes wide. They held on to each other tightly as they watched him, now so happy and healthy and watching the moving shapes in awe.

"He's so beautiful isn't he? You're a daddy Severus, can you believe it?" Hermione asked him as she snuggled against him.

"No I can't. It's more than I deserve in life." He said sadly as he reached into the crib and stroked his fingertips against Elijah's cheek. "But I promise you that I am yours and Elijah's and I will make it my life's purpose to be the father and the husband that you deserve and to continue to scare the miscreants here into being good wizards and witches."

Hermione smiled and then gasped as what he had said to her registered.

"Husband...Severus?"

"If I were to promise you my eternal devotion, to tell you that I will never leave your side again, nor our sons, nor the baby girls that Luna predicted we would have in a year's time one night in the Infirmary while you were fast asleep..."

"She what?" Hermione asked, a hand falling on her stomach as she turned to look at her baby son again, wondering how it was possible to feel so much love for one little person.

"And If I were to get down on one knee, with an antique ring such as this one..."

Severus pulled a ring out of his pocket and held it out to her as he got down on one knee.

"...and ask you to do me the honour of becoming my wife, what would you say?"

His brown eyes sparkled and yet were full of fear as he waited for an answer. It was probably the scariest moment of his life as he knelt there, waiting for the answer of the woman that he loved.

Hermione stood still for a moment, her heart thumping and her head filling with memories both good and bad of all the time she had spent with Severus in her life from her youth through to now.

"I would say..." She started as she walked right up to him, placed her hands either side on his face and bent down and kissed him.

"...that Isabella is a gorgeous name for our future daughter and that it would be only right that she is born into a family where her parents are married. So yes...yes I'll marry you." Hermione told him, a grin on her face as Severus slid the ring onto her hand and kissed the delicate finger on which it sat.

He kissed his fiancée with passion and yet tenderness and again looked at his boy.

"You hear that Elijah? mummy and daddy are getting married." Severus told him.

Elijah reached out to his father. Severus took the little boy into his arms and cradled him, watching as Hermione played with the delicate and sparkling diamond ring, casting flecks of light on the walls which Eli followed with his dark eyes. He didn't know how he had ever gotten so lucky or how he had deserved a woman like her and a beautiful baby son but one thing he did know was that he would never be alone, incomplete or bitter ever again and he never, ever was.


End file.
